Any ceremony has the potential to positively affect the recipient who is the focus of the ceremonial proceedings. A birth day party is effectively a 'ceremony', and it is a perfect example of such an occasion.
Kumali had a 4th birth day party in Berwick-Upon-Tweed last Sunday. With her British grandparents, and several cousins and aunties, British and African, Kumali was celebrated with love and devotion by all in attendance.
It was a magical day, topping off a superb five day trip up north catching up with some family, friends and former work mates.
On the long drive back to Falmouth, I was sitting in the back with Kumali. The girl was wide awake, despite the holiday schedule, and I was attempting to engage with her in order to quell her rising frustration at being stuck in a car. She had an air about her, a sense of approval. She was no longer 3: now she is 4.
"What did you enjoy most about your whole trip?", I proffered.
"Cousin Josef's computer game," she replied without missing a beat.
"And why?"
"Because the man says," she then paused, composed herself, turned to look at me with her best menacing stare, before booming out in an equally menacing voice, "I'm going to roast your heart on a spit."
Her face burst into one of delighted surprise and mischief as quickly as she computed the, albeit disguised, look of initial shock on my face.
Welcome to the world of my now 4 year old!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Here Comes The Summer
Aahhhh ...
Skies that are cloudless and blue, a sun that could burn your skin.
Windows open, washing hung outside dry in an afternoon.
T-shirts to the front of the wardrobe, jumpers to the back.
Sandals polished ready for wearing, Kumali deciding what colour she's going to paint my toenails.
Okay, there's still a chill crisp to the air ... but ... a smile on my face and scarcely a care in the world.
Happy daze in Falmouth is back again ... aahhhh!
Skies that are cloudless and blue, a sun that could burn your skin.
Windows open, washing hung outside dry in an afternoon.
T-shirts to the front of the wardrobe, jumpers to the back.
Sandals polished ready for wearing, Kumali deciding what colour she's going to paint my toenails.
Okay, there's still a chill crisp to the air ... but ... a smile on my face and scarcely a care in the world.
Happy daze in Falmouth is back again ... aahhhh!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Do Be So Sensitive!
And all these years I thought it was because I'm a Virgo! You know the traits: particular; critical; precise, et cetera, et cetera.
Now I know different. I'm what's known as a highly sensitive person. It isn't a case of 'don't be so sensitive' anymore. I can't help being sensitive. I'm actually hotwired to be sensitive.
If I had a pound for every time someone has said to me in the past, "Don't be so sensitive.", I'd be too busy sailing round the world in my luxury yacht to write this blog. So yes, I knew I was 'sensitive'. But I never really understood what that actually meant. Until now.
Being a highly sensitive person means having a nervous system that is more finely tuned to the subtleties of the senses. Basically, your brain processes information far more acutely and reflects on it far more deeply and for a far longer period than non-highly sensitive people.
Anywhere between 15-20% of the population are estimated to be highly sensitive: there's a self test that you can do. And there are degrees of high sensitivity, as there are with most all things. So you could be moderately highly sensitive, or extremely, and anything in between. I think I'm somewhere in between!
Being highly sensitive means you are more likely to get ovestimulated, stressed out and overwhelmed. Often mistaken for being 'touchy', 'tempremental', or simply a 'pain in the f*cking *rse', actually highly sensitive people are nothing of the kind! And it doesn't mean you are introverted or inhibited. You can be, and I am, extroverted and uninhibted.
What it does mean is that you are highly tuned in to ALL that is going on around and about you, and you think about it more and for longer. Not surprisingly, it can all get a bit much at times. Hence getting overstimulated, stressed out and overwhelmed.
It is said being highly sensitive is NOT a curse. The biggest problem is realising and then accepting that you are highly sensitive. Then you have to understand what that means and make allowances for it in your life. That's where I'm at: early days, but I'm a fast learner!
It's not all bad: highly sensitive poeple are "often unusually creative and productive workers, attentive and thoughtful partners, and intellectually gifted individuals." (Elaine Aron).
It's not bad at all. I'd prefer not to be highly sensitive. But it's a large part of who I am, so I'm embracing it. It would, though, have been good to discover and understand all this at 13 rather than 43 - especially as I was born the youngest of 12! Overstimulating, overwhelming, stressing? Not much!
Ah, well: better late than never, eh?!
Now I know different. I'm what's known as a highly sensitive person. It isn't a case of 'don't be so sensitive' anymore. I can't help being sensitive. I'm actually hotwired to be sensitive.
If I had a pound for every time someone has said to me in the past, "Don't be so sensitive.", I'd be too busy sailing round the world in my luxury yacht to write this blog. So yes, I knew I was 'sensitive'. But I never really understood what that actually meant. Until now.
Being a highly sensitive person means having a nervous system that is more finely tuned to the subtleties of the senses. Basically, your brain processes information far more acutely and reflects on it far more deeply and for a far longer period than non-highly sensitive people.
Anywhere between 15-20% of the population are estimated to be highly sensitive: there's a self test that you can do. And there are degrees of high sensitivity, as there are with most all things. So you could be moderately highly sensitive, or extremely, and anything in between. I think I'm somewhere in between!
Being highly sensitive means you are more likely to get ovestimulated, stressed out and overwhelmed. Often mistaken for being 'touchy', 'tempremental', or simply a 'pain in the f*cking *rse', actually highly sensitive people are nothing of the kind! And it doesn't mean you are introverted or inhibited. You can be, and I am, extroverted and uninhibted.
What it does mean is that you are highly tuned in to ALL that is going on around and about you, and you think about it more and for longer. Not surprisingly, it can all get a bit much at times. Hence getting overstimulated, stressed out and overwhelmed.
It is said being highly sensitive is NOT a curse. The biggest problem is realising and then accepting that you are highly sensitive. Then you have to understand what that means and make allowances for it in your life. That's where I'm at: early days, but I'm a fast learner!
It's not all bad: highly sensitive poeple are "often unusually creative and productive workers, attentive and thoughtful partners, and intellectually gifted individuals." (Elaine Aron).
It's not bad at all. I'd prefer not to be highly sensitive. But it's a large part of who I am, so I'm embracing it. It would, though, have been good to discover and understand all this at 13 rather than 43 - especially as I was born the youngest of 12! Overstimulating, overwhelming, stressing? Not much!
Ah, well: better late than never, eh?!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Ah, The Joy Of The Modern World
My broadband internet connection was down for just over two weeks. No one at BT could tell me why, but they did keep apologising. Is that the latest in ultimate customer care? No matter how sh*t the service, how irate the customer, or how clueless the service provider is, keep apologising. And make every apology more profound and heartfelt than the last.
Anyway, it's been refreshing going into the local library for 30 minutes of free internet access, and also disturbing to realise how dependent on an internet connection I've become. We've all become!
The modern world, eh. Progress. Advancement. Last week I heard this snippet of a gem of a revealation masquerading as some idle chit-chat between two friends in WH Smith.
Woman A: "Oh, can you believe it's February already?"
Woman B: "No, and it Shrove Tuesday next week. Easter's going to be early."
Woman A: "I can't be bothered with that Shrove Tuesday. I've no time to be making pancakes."
Woman B: "I know what you mean. But listen, you can buy a pack of ready made ones from Tesco; all you have to do is stick them in the microwave. That's what I'm doing."
Woman A: "Really? Oh well, I could do the same. I might celebrate it after all. Thank God for Tesco. I wouldn't have the time otherwise."
And there was me thinking pancake mix takes minutes to make, pancakes take seconds to a cook, and Shrove Tuesday's about using up your rich ingredients before starting a diet of simple foods out of respect for some guy called Jesus who fasted completely for 40 days and nights!!
Anyway, it's been refreshing going into the local library for 30 minutes of free internet access, and also disturbing to realise how dependent on an internet connection I've become. We've all become!
The modern world, eh. Progress. Advancement. Last week I heard this snippet of a gem of a revealation masquerading as some idle chit-chat between two friends in WH Smith.
Woman A: "Oh, can you believe it's February already?"
Woman B: "No, and it Shrove Tuesday next week. Easter's going to be early."
Woman A: "I can't be bothered with that Shrove Tuesday. I've no time to be making pancakes."
Woman B: "I know what you mean. But listen, you can buy a pack of ready made ones from Tesco; all you have to do is stick them in the microwave. That's what I'm doing."
Woman A: "Really? Oh well, I could do the same. I might celebrate it after all. Thank God for Tesco. I wouldn't have the time otherwise."
And there was me thinking pancake mix takes minutes to make, pancakes take seconds to a cook, and Shrove Tuesday's about using up your rich ingredients before starting a diet of simple foods out of respect for some guy called Jesus who fasted completely for 40 days and nights!!
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