Who Said Scottish Guys Aren't Romantic?

Not my own work, but touching none the same!

A Scottish Love Poem

A' coorse ah love ye darlin'
Ye're a bloody tap notch burd.
An' when ah say ye're gorgeous
Ah mean iv'ry single word.

So yer bum is oan the big side
Ah don't mind a bit o flab.
It means that whin ah'm ready
There's somethin' therr tae grab.

So yer belly isny flat nae merr
Ah tell ye, ah don't cerr.
So long as when ah cuddle ye
I cin get mah erms roon' therr.

Nae wummin wha is your age
Hiz nice roon' perky breasts.
They jist gave in tae gravity
Bit ah know ye did yer best.

Ah'm tellin ye the truth noo
Ah nivir tell ye lies.
Ah think its very sexy
Thit ye've goat dimples oan yer thighs.

Ah swerr oan mah grannies grave noo
The moment thit we met.
Ah thocht ye wiz as guid as
Ah wiz ivir goanie get.

Nae maitter whit ye look like
Ah'll aywiz love ye dear.
Noo shut up while the fitba's oan
An' fetch 'es anither beer.

I Love George Clooney

Well how can you not, right? A blind person could see that he is handsome, suave and debonair. But that's not why I love him. Like any actor he's made his share of naff movies, but he is a very talented and versatile actor with great screen presence. But that's not why I love him, either.

I love George Clooney because he is intelligent, dignified and humble. The guy is smart, rich, successfull and lusted over. Yet, he just doesn't appear to take himself too seriously. Oh, and he has got involved with, backed financially and starred in some top, top films recently. That's why I love George Clooney.

He makes the type of films I love to watch. Okay Ocean's Thirteen was awful. So bad that, while Ocean's Twelve was bearable, it partly tarnished the memory of Ocean's Eleven, which was a great film for sheer slick, classy entertainment. But films like Good Night, and Good Luck and Syriana are the sort of films that get my juices flowing. I could watch them like others watch soaps, or in real time like a 24 hour 'reality' tv show.

I haven't seen his 2006 film The Good German, although I'd like to. But last night I went to see the most recent George Clooney film that I know about, Michael Clayton. I loved it. Everything about it. The characters, the story, the script, the dialogue, the action, the acting, the directing, the music, the whole production. I'd go as far as to say it is the best film I have ever seen. It has everything I've ever wanted to see in a film.

I want to go and see it again, I'd go tonight if it were possible. Man, I just love George Clooney.

Where I'm Coming From

I'm not the greatest fan of 'technology', per se. Yes I enjoy the Internet, especially email, and I do wonder how I managed before I had a mobile phone, so useful has it become. So I'm not against 'technology'. Let's just say I don't necessarily equate it to 'progress' and I'm not convinced, overall, that it is actually a 'good thing' for humankind.

That said, I do believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction; that nothing is inherently good or bad. It is how we perceive it, and use it, that determines its worth and value.

And one good thing about 'technology', in my humble opinion, is that you can now get your DNA taken. Now it may come to pass in a few years time that the whole DNA thing was anything from a big scam to an unprovable scientific theory that was never properly challenged at the time. But for now its legitimate, as far as I understand.

For £150.00 you can explore your genetic roots through DNA company Oxford Ancestors. Skint as I am, my order's already in. For the past few years I have been intrigued to know 'where I come from', not just my immediate ancestors, but my very origin. I find that a fascinating insight that could lead to a new awareness. I hope it is legitimate: ever the sceptic, I will study the feedback with a critical eye.

First I have to wait for the swab sample package to arrive so I can take a sample of my DNA from a scraping inside my cheek and post it off!

Do you know where I'm coming from? Hopefully I'll have a better idea soon.