Monday, July 07, 2008

Love and Yellow Teeth

My wife left me recently, and took my daughter with her. It was an emotional time all round. I had not long since arrived back from my holiday in Morocco when we received a phone call that left my wife with no other option but to go.

Her mum died suddenly after suffering a massive stroke. She hadn't been well, but at 66 was still young. Zimbabwe, the land of wife's birth, though, is currently a difficult enough place to live in, far less be ill in, never mind have to die in.

Within 24 hours of getting the call Toni and Kumali were off to Zimbabwe. Kumali was very philosophical, as only a child can be, when she was told she was going to Zimbabwe with her Mama.

"Are we going to see Ya-ya*? *Granny in Ndebele

"No, sweetheart. Ya-ya has gone to the angels and we're going to say good-bye."

"Oh, do you mean she's died?"

"Yes, that's right. Ya-ya has died."

"I love Ya-ya. I'll miss her."

Despite the multiple difficulties involved in trying to navigate everyday life in Zimbabwe the funeral took place without a hitch. It was a sombre affair for the few surviving members of Toni's family who attended. Many have long since gone to other countries as part of the economic diaspora; many others have gone the same way as Daphne.

Toni and Kumali spent 3 weeks in Bulawayo in total. Kumali was in her element. She loved playing with her 2 big cousins, Kimberley and Russell, and their 2 dogs, as well as being (weather and space) able to play outdoors for hours on end in the garden. She also met many other people who first met her 4 years ago as a 10 month-old baby, and did lots of other wonderful things, like see lions being fed and help feed monkeys and deer at Chipangali Wildlife Orphange.

Toni helped her brother, Conrad, start the process of going through their mother's affairs and estate. She also found time to chill out, taking stock of Zimbabwe and the passing of her mother, following her father's death just over 7 years ago.

One of the most philosophical of people I know when it comes to death, Toni felt at ease at her mother's passing. That was no surprise, what was a surprise was to hear her say she nearly phoned and told me to pack up and come over and join them.

She has spent 6 years out of Africa, ten out of Zimbabwe, 4 of those years having being spent in Scotland and England. 85+% unemployment, inflation out of control (£1 worth Z$15m on arrival and Z$35m on departure - and they've already taken 3 '0's off the currency), food, power and petrol as scarce as gold, disease, violence and intimidation ... the negatives go on. And all that going on hand-in-hand with the complete collapse of around 10 million people into desperation. Despite all that Toni'd rather be there than in the 'United Kingdom.' Food for thought.

Kumali would love to live in Zimbabwe. She loved her time there. As always when we are apart for more than 2 0r 3 days she has 'changed' during our absence from one another. A new development, edge, side, complexity, character trait, et al.

She's come back noticing my physical failings more than before, or not being afraid to mention them. The best line of all to remind me of my own gradual demise?

"Papa, you've got yellow teeth. But I still love you."

13 comments:

Unknown said...

I suppose the roots will always tug at the tree even if the ground is not safe anymore.

Love and light to you all.

Unknown said...

Some of my ex husband's family lived in Zim - farmers etc - one daughter, my ex's cousin, left many years ago and then after her divorce, decided to go "home". But the reality of living at home with two teenage daughters, a failing economy, landgrabs and that nutter Mad Dog, and she gave up and returned to the UK. I think wanting to go home has a strong pull but the reality of living in a place so full of violence and so distorted by dictatorship is an entirely other reality.
As you may know, I took in two Zim refugees during the recent wave of xenophobic violence in South Africa. They would love nothing more than to return home but feel until things change that is just not an option.
Perhaps when things do change and improve going home mightn't be such a bad idea, though it will be very hard at first.
Sympathies and best wishes to you all.

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

Glad to hear they're back and well - you must have been relieved. Hope all's well with the three of you.

Oh, and cheers for the link the other day.

I really must get around to catching up with you soon...

Anonymous said...

Try this link yellow tooth


http://www.dentalcareplus.org.uk/whitening.htm

ankyonline said...

its sad

Anonymous said...

sometimes the tree tugs at the ground damaging the roots in the process. Sometimes the tooth (yellow or otherwise) should be extracted, roots n' all. I think thats the jist of the message above

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И проблема, вообщем-то не в том, что он женат! Я замуж за него не собираюсь, а в том, что он "ужасно" занятой. И дел у него много, и времени в обрез и т.д., и т.п. Обычная лабуда. В итоге - я его люблю, а он мне, вроде как, время уделяет...Иногда! Что называется: "И прочь не гонит , и к себе не зовет". Как бы мне эти отношения оптимизировать?
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